Tag: fossil
Palin Enters Self in Tidy Bowl Sweeps, Says She’s a Winner!
by Lee Baldwin on Jan.31, 2010, under Humor
Palin Enters Self in Tidy Bowl Sweeps, Determined To Win!
You can say it started right here. Who will win the Tidy-Bowl Sweepstakes for 2010?
At that real Bowl game, what is it… oh yes I keep forgetting because it is so SUPER. At the start of Super Bowl halftime, February 7, 2010, the winner will be selected from the votes entered in comments on this site. America first! Everyone is a write-in candidate!
You can even vote yourself off the island!
But you can do better, way better. Yeah! Pick the politician or faux public servant of your choice (the one you would rid the planet of if given absolute power) and ENTER. Just type the name, spelled correctly if possible, into a comment below this story and hit the GO button.
We are just using Sarah Palin as an example! Because her appeal is so… unique n stuff.
At the end of the game, a loud flushing sound and fake screams will be heard from one end of the Internet to the other, we will all have a good laff and go about our business, secure in the fact that this is a Freaking Free Country and we have the First Amendment. Yes we do. We got it by sending cereal boxtops to Battle Creek Michigan in prehysterical times.
But now it is time to reveal the source of the unease you feel whenever you see the name… PALIN.
PALIN – L = PAIN
That’s right kiddies, the subliminal message is PAIN. That is the coded message Conservatives are sending to the world and deep into Outer Space. They took the word PAIN and stuck an L smack in the middle as a disguise. And there you are! PAIN for you and your kiddies.
But the irony does not end there! No! Where did they get the L they used for the clever disguise? L is for LEFT of course! Oh the humanity!
When will we get it? Oh, about the time enough of us figure out that some ideas are just plain bad juju.
Rare dinosaur skeleton turns over in grave
by Lee Baldwin on Jan.25, 2010, under Humor
Turkalurk narrowly missed discovery
Dateline Mon Jan 25, Gilroy, CA
GREAT CAESAR’S GHOST, Mont. – A nearly completely rare dinosaur skeleton stolen from private property in Montana and bored to death in an evidence locker for more than two years has turned over in its grave.
Finally.
Scientists at the Black Hills Institute of Geological Research in South Dakota say the 70-million-year-old turkey-sized predator could have been a new species of raptor. However, it was voted off the Island by spoilsport Simon Cowell, losing out to Susan Boyle.
“It’s a mean and nasty little dinosaur,” said Peter Larson, president of the institute. “Even though it’s not very big, you wouldn’t want to meet it in a dark bowling alley. Research tells us it had a 243 league average.”
Researchers say it’s unusual to find the skeleton of a meat-eating dinosaur in a Vegan restaurant, and especially one that’s so small.
“Well, no wonder it was small,” Larson remarked. “Its mom surely meant for it to eat meat.”
Because of its resemblance to a turkey and its tendency to hang out in dark places, scientists named the little bugger “Turkalurk.”
The stolen raptor fossil was at long last returned to the owners of the property where it had been innocently hanging about for, ummm… 70 million years, and they in turn sent it to the institute in South Dakota.
On it’s tummy. It always had the best flying dreams on its tummy.
